Do you become tongue-tied and wonder what to say when you’re asked to speak in front of others or when you encounter an attractive person?

That can be so painful! What’s that costing you in terms of rich relationships and money in the bank?

Here are a few tips for keeping your cool:

1. Breathe! Going onstage in front of others or speaking to a sexually attractive person can cause you to go into startle mode and start breathing from the top of your chest, almost like hyperventilating.

2. Smile! It may feel forced, but smiling will cause you to breathe deeply. That relaxes you and makes YOU more attractive.

3. Stay centered in your body. When we’re nervous, we literally “jump” outside of ourselves instead of staying centered. Either that or we go into our heads. Thinking is a highly overrated activity. Instead, “feel.” Go into your heart. Share from there.

4. Feel your hands and feet. That will ground you.

5. Let go. You can’t control the conversation or what happens as a result of it. So just let go and enjoy the ride. Trying to control things makes you rigid. Letting go makes you relaxed and happy and better able to respond to whatever comes next.

In fact, the best advice I can give on the subject is to develop a carefree attitude. Not too careful, and definitely not careless.

Just carefree — free of cares!